Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
