How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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