just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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