Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
