I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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