Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
