were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize