your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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