Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
