you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
