i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
