having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
