Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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