I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
