I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
