I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
