At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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