Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
