I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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