kristin has been a bad kristin
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
