My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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