am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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