Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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