Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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