Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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