oh god the rape fog is back!
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
