i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
