Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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