You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
