You really coming over, don't trick.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I have already put on my inside pants.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
