either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Can you bring me the toilet please
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
