Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Randomize