Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I love you.
Bad choice
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