Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
