i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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