So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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