Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
