Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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