I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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