some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
There's a naked man in my car right now.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
