3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
