will power is for people who don't want to get laid
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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