Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
NoShamevember. You game?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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