But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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