It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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