I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i will never coherently bang her
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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