I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
