My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
