Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
