too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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