they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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