I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I love having hate sex.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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