i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Randomize
