i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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