I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
NoShamevember. You game?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
