I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
