he shaved USA in his pubs
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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