Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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