He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
