He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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