maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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