Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
