Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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